I Believe

July 6, 2005 & March 24, 2008

Actually, maybe it should read I don’t believe. There, I said it, I don’t believe in god; that is I don’t believe in your god or your god. I believe what I believe and what I believe is that the gods of convention have been manufactured by the powerful to keep the people afraid and controllable.

I was raised in the Catholic Church and I believed in it’s tenets for much of my life but I had never actually thought about that which I was taught. As I moved through life and began to question I remained faithful to the Church but, over time, it became more and more difficult. I found myself questioning things like the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, the virginal status of Mary and the divinity of Jesus. None of it made sense to me and, actually thinking of Jesus as a man and not a god made him a much more attractive figure for me. The gospels say that he was a man who roamed the near east preaching a message of love. He was castigated mightily by the powerful of his time because his message was so attractive to the people struggling under the collective thumbs of the powerful.

Now, about what I believe. I’ve spent most of my life trying to be like other people, trying to believe what they believe, to wear what they wear, to read what they read, to drive what they drive, in short, to be anything but Philip J. McGee. I married to become a part of a “better” family when the family I was born into was terrific. I believed that if I could earn enough money all would be well. I never reached the monetary stratosphere but I certainly had enough but, alas enough was never enough. I spent most of my youth being profoundly ashamed of myself and never questioning why. Actually I didn’t question much. I just went along basically doing what I was told and believing what I was taught. I remember being told that an altar boy once took a consecrated host home and cut it with a knife which caused it to bleed profusely and I have to admit that I believed it.

I don’t remember when I finally began to question the basic tenets of Catholicism but I believe it was around 20 years ago and it had to do with the question of choice regarding abortion. Initially it made sense to me that abortion should certainly be legal when the pregnancy was the result of rape or incest or when the mother’s life was in danger. And as I thought about it more I came to believe that, although I deplored abortion, a woman’s decision was none of my business. It is her body and who am I, particularly considering my gender, to question what she does with it. And, horror of horrors, I also believe in euthanasia.

After many years of introspective thought I finally believe in myself and my connection to all other beings and I intend to promulgate that belief. I believe that violence is always wrong and is always the result of fear although I don’t deny that I am capable of it. After all, I am certainly capable of fear so why not it’s child. I believe in the fundamental goodness of mankind and I want to spend the rest of my life learning more about that goodness.

Posted March 24, 2009


The really shocking thing about all this is why it takes so long for any of us to come to such an eminently sensible conclusion.

I happen to pretty much 100% agree, but it wasn’t until watching Bill Maher’s Religulous recently that it dawned on me how dangerous and harmful it has been to humanity over the course of history to believe this stuff.

Sounds like a quest, maybe even a hero’s journey.

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